Old Age Quiz
Q: How can you speed up the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid getting wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they browse an antique store?
A: I remember these.
Q: Where can a man over 60 find a younger, good looking woman who is interested in him?
A: Try the bookstore under fiction.
Q: What can a husband do when his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If he's handy with tools, he can finish the basement. Then when he's finished, he'll have a place to live.
Q: Why should 60+ people use valet parking?
A: The valet won't forget where he parked your car.
Q: Is it a common problem for 60+ year olds to have trouble with memory storage?
A: No. Memory storage is not the problem. Memory retrieval is.
Q: Do people sleep more soundly as they get older?
A: Yes, but it's usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should old people look for glasses?
A: On their forehead.
Perks Of Being Over The Hill
• There is nothing left anymore to learn the hard way.
• Things that you buy now won't wear out.
• Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
• You no longer think of the speed limit as a challenge.
• Your investment in health insurance is finally paying off.
• You can quit trying to hold in your stomach no matter who walks into the room.
• Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them anyway.
• You can sing along with elevator music.
• Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the guy on the television.
• Your eyes won't get too much worse.
• Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
• People call you at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you??? "
• You can eat dinner at 4:00 in the afternoon.
• In a hostage situation you are the most likely to be released first.
• No one expects you to run -- anywhere.
• You are no longer viewed as a hypochondriac.
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